Letters between Mo and Lo...

Hie Mo,

How are you doing? How is work and everything else?

Let me just cut to the chase because I have a lot I need to offload, but I need you to promise me that you will not judge me. Warning a lot of what I am going to say is going to seem irreconcilable with the me you know but I gotta get it off my chest.

Remember last week when we spoke and you asked me what was wrong and I said nothing? I am sorry but I lied. The day before you called I had just been to the doctor and he had recommended that I get some tests done coz there was some stuff going on “down there”, (don’t give me that eye).

I know what you are thinking, don’t get worried I got the test results back today and the doc says its not anything sexually transmitted, it was just an infection but look Mo, there was a possibility that it was!!!!! And that just scared the hell out of me. I have read the books, I have watched the vidoes hell I am a peer educator!!! But somehow for some crazy reason which I can not explain even to my own self I allowed love to cloud my judgement and I put myself at such enormous risk.

Mo, the day after I had visited the doctor and had the test done I saw Fa and ASKED whether he had been with other women. Mo I asked him!!! What was I expecting? That he would come out and confess?????

Am I making sense, I am relieved with the results but I am angry with myself for putting myself at risk of such and maybe even worse. What was I thinking? Scratch that, I wasn’t thinking, I was loving and I was trusting but I wasn’t thinking.

Don’t get me wrong, I am not saying anything bad about my man, what I am saying is I shouldn’t have allowed myself to throw caution to the wind simply because I trust that I am in a serious and committed relationship. I wish I could explain how I have been feeling for the past couple of days but I can’t. Everything is just a blur, I have been crying, I have been thinking, I couldn’t eat and the worst thing is that I couldn’t pray. I just felt like God didn’t want to hear from a silly little girl who can’t make the right decisions even when equipped with all the information.

Remember when we used to dance in front of the mirror J. I miss you my friend.

I have learnt my lesson I truly have and I am going to make some much needed changes to my life.

Do reply,

Much love

Lo