The International Beer

THE INTERNATIONAL BEER…

Brief history

There were two traditional tribes; the Cona and the Gebele. The two were rumoured to be going to war in the coming weeks. It had been brewing for over five years now and there was no way of avoiding it now. Not even the King of North Dafrica who had visited could bring the two tribes to a peaceful settlement.

Their war was for ultimate control of the beautiful land of Vimbadze.

Now to the story

Whenever any tribe goes to war it is common practice for warriors to take sips of “the international beer”. This beer enhances their forces and increases their chances of winning the war. Unfortunately Chapiro, the ONLY man in Vimbadze who could brew this beer had fallen ill and was unable to brew. not even promises of beautiful wives, land and gold could raise him from his death bed.

Trouble started when the kings of the Cona and the Gebele found out that I had one calabash of “the international beer.

The Cona were offering me 20 hectares of land, 100 herd of cattle and 10 slaves

The Gebele were offering me 20 hectares of land, 200 herd of cattle and as many slaves as I needed.

None of them was willing to take half of the calabash.

The King of North Dafrica paid me a secret visit to warn me of the pending danger. If I didn’t sell the calabash, either one of the tribes would raid my homestead and steal it and probably kill me in the process. If I sold to one tribe, the other would definitely avenge and probably kill me in the process. Tread carefully he warned….

I had to think quick.

I decided to dupe them both.

Me on the phone with the King of the Gebele

I called both chiefs and informed them that due to the sensitive nature of the sale I needed my payment in cash equivalent. I explained that once I had sold I had to leave and settle in Zatswana for fear that the other tribe would hunt me down. I told both the kings the same story and they believed it. They were both glad I had decided to sell to them and not the other.

The King of the Gebele because of his untrusting nature promised to pay only half before the exchange and then the rest later.

The King of the Cona on the hand promised ‘a little extra’ to thank me for choosing him.

Me on the phone with the King of the Cona

I was playing with fire and I knew it.

After the deposits had been made by both the Kings I made a withdrawal and visited Chapiro’s greedy son Bampiro. I wanted him to sell me just two empty calabashes of “the International beer” for $ 2000 no questions asked. Sure to his greedy nature Bampiro accepted and sold me the empty cartons.

Chibuku the International Beer

I filled the empty cartons with a lot of “not black label” which I purchased. Not black label would only put the warriors to sleep.

I called the Kings and explained that I couldn’t afford to be seen with them for fear that it may alert the other chief that I had already sold. Instead I would be sending the parcels over by courier. The King of the Gebele would have to deposit the balance as soon as he had seen his parcels (which I knew wouldn’t happen because he wasn’t getting International beer”, but I was content, what I had received was more than enough.To take both the full payments would simply be greedy).

I packed up all my belongings and said good bye to the only home I have ever known.

Not Black Label

I left my packages with the courier along with notes to both the Kings telling that the only reason I had done what I had done was because there was no need to go war as the land was large enough for both tribes to share. There was no need to shed innocent blood.

I boarded the plane to North Dafrica.

The King of North Dafrica granted me asylum, for a small fee of course and now I spend my days playing tennis and enjoying the North DÁfrican sun.

Me playing tennis