My day in two conversations

Today I thought I would give you a glimpse into my life through two conversations I had on Friday the 28^th of October.

The first was between me and a male client who stepped into my office at a time where I was truly struggling to keep up my plastic smile. The conversation was in Shona, my mother language, but for the sake of my non Shona reading readers, I will translate it to English.

Gentleman: Afternoon sister

ME: Afternoon sir, please take a seat. How can I help you?

Gentleman: My Facebook is not working

ME: Are you able to access other internet sites on your phone?

Gentleman: I don’t need any other site, I just want Facebook and it’s not working.

(At this point I am already getting very irritated, how can a grown man who has access to the World Wide Web only be interested in Facebook)

ME: May I take a look at the error message you are receiving, it might assist me in isolating the problem.

He hands over his dual sim phone, and much to my disgust he has a picture of a very busty celebrity as his screen saver, there is no way she was his wife or girlfriend, pervert....

The error message read “incorrect user name or password”

ME: Your Facebook is working just fine sir. The problem is that the details you have entered are not those you used to open the account

Gentleman: The details I have entered are the correct ones; I use them all the time. If it says they are incorrect what are the correct ones

ME: Unfortunately I have no way of knowing

Gentleman: Look in your system, don’t you have all these details in your system??

(Now I am truly annoyed)

ME: I am sorry sir, we have no database that keeps details of peoples Facebook usernames and passwords. Those are known by only you and those you choose to share them with.

Gentleman: Does that mean you have failed to fix my Facebook?

ME: Your Facebook is working just fine sir, you just need to remember your correct user name and password

He gets up, I smile.

Gentleman: You have been of no use to me little girl.

ME: Good Day, all the best fixing your broken Facebook (ok I didn’t say the last part, but I sure do wish I had).

The second conversation took place just as I was about to leave Masvingo on my way to Bulawayo for the weekend

Because it’s just terribly hot I decided to purchase a drink and some water for my long journey. As I was walking up to the till, a tall light in complexion gentleman decides is ok to cut me in the queue. Now, I was finally on my way home after a month so I was too happy to let this man get to me. So, I decided to let him be, a few more minutes wouldn’t hurt.

While he was paying for his one drink he decided to look back and make eye contact with the victim of his rude action. I am sure he looked and thought wow, she looks good (yes, a moment of vanity).

There began the conversation:

Queue cutter: Hie

ME: (silence...)

Queue cutter: You don’t talk to stranger?

ME: Not those who cut me in queues.

At this point its now my turn to pay for my purchase

Queue cutter: I am so sorry for being so rude, its just that I am in a hurry and I figured one drink wouldn’t take up too much time

ME: (silence)

Queue cutter: I really am a nice guy, if you give me your name and number I could show just how nice

ME: (silence)

Now I am walking out of the supermarket and he is walking next to me

 I look up at him (like I said he was tall) and I am smiling. I think he thought things were going his way now, I am sure he could see me blurting out my name and number.

ME: Do you realise that we are walking out together?

Queue Cutter: Yes we are

ME: Which means you were totally rude for absolutely nothing, the time you thought you would save by cutting me you have spent in a futile attempt to get my number. So it was all in vain, next time just wait your turn to get served.

I pulled out my Naomi Campbell strut and I was gone...