On living in the past...

Samantha had never worn a new dress. She had no idea what it felt like to be clothed in fine novel apparel. All her “new” clothes were torn and tattered hand me downs. A torn seam, a size too big, a missing button or a frayed hem. Wearable clothes definitely she got by, but never perfect, never new.

So it happened that one day, she received a brand new dress. Price tag in place, perfect sized beautiful dress. 

Samantha could not believe it. “it’s not possible”, she reasoned. “I have never worn a new dress. I have accepted sad reality that mine is a life of imperfect attire. There has to be something wrong with this dress”.

Armed with that defeatist rational she set out to find the ‘imperfections’ on the dress; Samantha inspected every inch of the dress; are the seams straight? Are the buttons in place? Does it even fit? Is it not torn? She searched and searched to no avail, the dress was indeed perfect for her in all ways.

“This is not right” she thought yet again “I never get perfect dresses maybe the imperfections are hidden.”

Now armed with a scissors she began to open up the seams in search of the hidden imperfections she was sure had to be there somewhere. Samantha cut and cut away.

Finally when she was done, she held the sliced dress up and smiled. “I knew it couldn’t be perfect”.

Totally oblivious to the wretched fact that she herself had ripped her prefect dress apart. The thought of a perfect dress was beyond her very expectations and list of possibilities, while a torn and tattered dress made so much sense to her existence and resonated well with her life’s history. Her tattered dress made her smile while a perfect one worried her to the point of paranoia.

Where am I going with all of this? Well many a person cannot appreciate a good and healthy relationship because they are so accustomed to the raw deals they have been dealt in the past. When a good woman or man comes their way (the answer to our many prayers) we fail to accept it for what it is. Choosing instead to engage in fault finding missions, spending time being defensive, failing to trust and scrutinising ever little aspect of the relationship.

Samantha tore her own dress the same way many have destroyed their own relationships because of choosing to live in the past.