If Neyo loved her, i am sure someone else will

Rewind to three months ago, I am sitting in a room with 12 other women. Married, single, divorced, with children, without children, a whole assortment of women. So as you know (or don’t know) when women get together the conversation will lead to men. We start talking about Miss Independent; that girl who pays her own way, buys her own way and truly doesn’t need a man or his money. These women spoke about this woman as if she had a disease. 

• “Men maybe attracted to her, but it will never last”
• “Young women of today are being mislead by TV and magazines”
• “That woman always ends up with a good job, car, house BUT NO MAN”

The general consensus was that men don’t like Miss independent and can’t live with her (… and her independence...)

So what has this got to do with me (because everything has to be about me). Thing is me and this diseased woman have a lot in common. I pay my rent, buy my groceries, get my hair and nails done the whole shebang and the only men who have ever paid these bills for me are my brothers and my dad, and that was before I started working. I do accept gifts (I love gifts) but by and large I have got ME covered. I don’t need or want anyone to take over (control issues)

But after this conversation I was a tad bit freaked out. The spoke about the famous male ego, and how men need to feel like the provider blah blah blah…

I started having crazy thoughts:

• What if I am sub consciously doing someone’s job. How would I feel if I got to work tomorrow and found someone sitting at my desk doing my job?
• What if I could learn how to be a kept woman and actually enjoy it?
• What if I just let my guard down and allow myself to experience it (then maybe there would be space in my budget for that red handbag, and the yellow one and the purple one…)

So I was having these thought for about three months and I finally decided to do something about them.

But today after some reflection and a huge fight (which I won’t blog about) I have resolved that

If Neyo could love Miss Independent and sing about her then maybe there are men who can love and appreciate a woman who can and wants to take care of herself.

This is who I know how to be and I truly think I do her well.

I am not going to try and change me in order to conform to some societal norms, I love me too much.

 “She’s got her own things that’s why I love her, Miss independent ohhh the way she shines… Miss Independent”