The birth of the role of Tete

 

(Please note that this post only dramatizes the birth of the role of tete as I would imagine it occured and does not get into the detail of the importance of this role and how the role has evolved over time. Those are stories for another day)

This post is the result of good wine, great friends and fantastic conversation…

Tete, the revered sister of your father.

Tete, the one responsible for advising and guiding the daughters of her brother. She will also bear the responsibility of accompanying her brother’s daughter to her in-laws’ family and providing that final stamp of assurance to the in-laws that her brother’s daughter has been well prepared for the role of wife that she is about to assume.

Traditionally, when the girl child misbehaved or was exhibiting traits of ‘waywardness’ she would be sent to her Tete for guidance and counselling.

Tete, the only female welcome to sit in the men’s family council.

Tete, the one who is called when a wife is displaying the behavior of one who was not advised.

Tete, the one who will receive a tongue lashing from her brother because his unmarried daughter has fallen pregnant (his daughter - insert confused emoji)

Tete, the one a wife calls when her husband is misbehaving (you will know in a second why this might not always yield the desired response).

Tete the disciplinarian, the enforcer, the setter-straight of the wayward.

In the fantastic conversation I made reference to in the opening, we had an ‘aha’ moment about  what/who  Tete really is and how sadly Tete subconsciously works to enforce and perpetuate the agenda of the patriarchy.

Walk with me as I imagine the conversation that took place at the annual patriarchal conference.

P1: We are the patriarchy. We have a system that works well for us.

P2: Quite right, we must work together to preserve this system.

P3: That is becoming increasingly hard. These women are entertaining ideas about who they are and who they can become.

The patriarchy scratch their balding heads and unmentionables…

P4:  Eureka! I have an idea. We take a small group of women and give them perceived power and the ‘serious responsibility’ of modelling the minds of younger women.

P1: Brilliant idea! We make it appear as if this figure is one of us, tasked to produce the best women possible for society yet in actual fact she is producing the best possible woman for the patriarchy. She will train the others to conform to the patriarchy from an early age.

P2: This is fabulous. Using a ‘she’ will make the transfer of norms more acceptable because it has come from one of their own.

And there you have it, the birth of the role of Tete in perpetuating the Patriachy.

And the rest is history unfolding…

We will talk about how this role has evolved over time another day.

Your comments and thoughts are most welcome…

(I will borrow Cynthia Enloe’s definition of patriarchy, understood as ‘the structural and ideological system that perpetuates the privileging of hegemonic masculinities’. That is, a system of power based on gender ‘norms’ which define the expected roles of men and women. Historically, women and girls have been oppressed, exploited or otherwise disadvantaged by the patriarchy).