Hubby gets 1 year for marrying off wife...

The Herald 23 August 2017

If you are in Zimbabwe or aware of the goings on in Zimbabwe you will have heard about the married couple that conned a poor single man out of $4 000 in the form of dowry by posing as siblings. Many have been wondering how a man could ‘marry’ off his wife for the love of money or how a wife could agree to be pimped off by her husband.

So this is my version of what happened.

Husband and wife had just sat down to have supper and just as wife was about to throw the first morsel of sadza into her mouth, husband asks her to get the chilli sauce which was about twenty steps away from where they sat. this request for chilli sauce generated into a joke about how wife had many potential suitors and if she had made better choices she would have married a rich man and had house help to cook, clean and fetch the chilli sauce. Husband responds with a jibe about how she now has to gracefully face the consequences of her bad decision making.

Laugh laugh laugh, wife delivers the chilli sauce and sadza is enjoyed.

Fast forward to midnight when husband is tossing and turning in bed thinking about how he will raise money to pay rent which is due in a week. In the middle of the tossing and turning he glances at wife who was peacefully snoring away. He smirks at how beautiful she looks even when she is sleeping, if she did have many suitors he is lucky she picked him.

Suddenly he has a light bulb moment. He nudges her until she has no option but to wake up. He asks “remember what you said during supper about having had many suitors, did you really have many suitors?”

Sleepy wife responds “of course I did, I am an attractive woman”

“Do you think any of them would marry you?”

“Why would they marry me when I am married to you?”

“No, I mean if you weren’t married to me, would any of them have married you?”

 

“Of course, you think if you hadn't married me no one would have? Why are you asking all these silly questions? Lets sleep, I am tired from cooking, cleaning and fetching chilli sauce”

And that’s how it all began…