Dear Zesa...

Dear Zesa,

I hope my letter finds you well. I am writing this letter because I feel everyone is being very hard on you about these power cuts that you have become such a professional at implementing, so I just wanted to reassure you that your efforts are appreciated by telling you about all the positive improvements I have made in my life as a result of your power cuts.

First of all my mornings have become so much faster and I am finding myself early for work more often than not. It’s just get up and go. There are no more warm baths to delay me, no Wi-Fi to tempt me to start a download or check my social media pages, no television to entice me to watch an episode or two of Modern Family or Power. It’s just get up and go, I don’t even need an extra five minutes to have breakfast because there is electricity and therefor no breakfast. Thank you for getting me to work in time.

I’d also like to thank you for helping me maintain my weight. What is happening most nights is that I leave work in the hope that the electricity will be back soon. And so in good hope I do not buy any food and look forward to a nice good home cooked meal. But alas, I get home and wait and wait and wait and you don’t show up. By the time you do come back I am not interested anymore and so I sleep on a tummy full of nothing…

Another positive improvement that you have brought about is massive savings on my power bill. You are barely here and so I use less and so I am charged less and so I save more. Thank you for helping with my savings.

Zesa, you have been so helpful in my fight against procrastination. Because I don’t have any idea when you are going or coming I fully utilise the precious moments that I have with you. Charge my phone, get the ironing done etc. you are so unpredictable can’t afford to procrastinate.

Before I forget, thank you Zesa for teaching me the joys of silence. It had been a while since I had fallen asleep to the sound of silence. At one point I actually convinced myself that I couldn’t fall asleep without either the TV or radio to serenade me to sleep but lo and behold you have retaught me the art of simply closing my eyes and falling asleep.

Before I go, the large majority (if not the entire nation), refers to your being available as going (magetsi aenda, amagetsi asehambile, the electricity has gone) and not being available as coming (magetsi auya, amagetsi asebuyile, the electricity is back). Won’t you please tell me where it you go off to when you are not with us, maybe we could meet there and enjoy a movie over a hot meal.

Yours in weight watching, silence, saving, fighting procrastination and getting to work in time.

October Madness…