My big fat karanga wedding

 This weekend I experienced a Zimbabwean rendition of “My big fat Greek wedding only in this case it was “my big fat karanga wedding”. My cousin was getting married and the family was converging in Masvingo. The wedding was great; the sermon, the vows, the kiss and the cake, I wish them all the best in this journey they have voluntarily decided to take.

My duty was to drive the bride from her home to the wedding venue. When she got into the car I asked her where she wanted to go. Because if she didn’t want me to drive her to the wedding venue I would totally understand. She smiled and said “I want to go to the church; I can’t wait to be your cousin’s wife. If I could change my surname today I WOULD” and so we went to the wedding…

The real fun started when they left for their honeymoon (chuckles) and the groom’s side of the family, which is where I belong, came to my place (all 40 of them) for what supposed to be a small meal before they departed for their various destinations but that was not to be.

Somewhere in between the alcohol, dancing, eating, post wedding gossip and story telling the party just wouldn’t stop.

Old granny’s from our rural home who are content with getting drunk on Chibuku and home brewed beer were so excited about the Smirnoff Spin and Hunters that they were downing. Some bottles even made their way into bags for consumption at home. One intoxicated granny jumped into the air when the DJ played Seunononga shouting “idzi ndedzedu maninja”.

Some guests took the time to scrutinise my living arrangement;

“Who do you live with?”

“I saw you taking food to your yard mate, do you feed him every day?”

“Why do you have so many beer bottles in here?”

It helped that I didn’t take down a picture of the slayer that I have in my room. I intentionally left it there to avoid questions about when I am getting married TOO. Call it my way of sending signals that they can breathe because even though I don’t want to hear the M word, I am dating… a man… it seems to have worked because that subject never came up.  Although no one asked about the photograph I noticed that its position kept shifting, my guess was that they would pick it up, analyse it and put it back down.

It was so great to be amongst family, people who love you and who you love no matter what. Occasions like this come very rarely because everyone is scattered around the world and it is such a hassle to get everyone in place.

One of the most exciting bits of the wedding was that I could fit into my dress. You see I got the dress two months ago specifically for the wedding, but a month before the wedding I tried it on and the zip wouldn’t go all the way up (you know why). But lo and behold on the morning of the wedding the zip went all the way up and stayed there the entire day.