My Stalker and I...

 

A while ago I was receiving annoying call and messages from a gentleman who refused to identify himself. I tried by all means to politely inform him that I was not interested in him but he would not pay attention.

 These are the text messages that he sent on the last day of our interaction.

Text 1: I want to be yo sweety hearty babie pliz I want yu 2 b mine listen babie I have got something 4 yu so pliz babie help I need yo reply.

Text 2: Es Shaar nditaurire chokwadi ndizororodzewo mupfungwa (Please friend tell me the truth so that I can put my mind to rest). I luv you today, tomorrow either twenty six years to come.

(please remember that I am not editing these texts, I am simply typing them out as they were delivered)

Text 3: I am now mad because of yo punishment yu gave me babie I love you mo than yu think pliz honey hear me just reply babie.

At this point I am annoyed and so I replied. Hoping that a reply would shut him up.

Me: please stop texting me

Boy was I wrong…

Text 4: Listen Babie if I loose yu my life will get in trouble so please just say its ok for you and I to get in touch

(loose, really!!!!!!????)

Text 5:babie please listen I am now getting confused so please help

Text 6: was up babie I hope you have something good to say so I am waiting for your good saying

Text 7: ndokumbirawo mhinduro yako ndakuda ku frizer please help (please may I have your answer I am about to freeze, please help)

Later on in the day, he tried to call again, fortunately I had gone out and left my phone in the house, my housemate answered the call…. She informed this not so gentle man that she was my husband’s sister and if he continued to pester me she would give his number to my husband. With that the calls and messages ceased. My stalker was a coward.

My life you entertainment, keep watching while I live it…