Give her her veil!!!!!!
Very recently the pastor at a local church
gave his youths a tongue lashing. His bone of contention with them was they
were lying during premarital counseling.
He said (translation from Shona) “today, three
recently wed couples have been put under Church punishment because they got
married while they were pregnant. We have no problem with marrying you while
you are pregnant but the thing is during premarital counseling we ask you if
you have copulated. All these three couples said they had not but lo and
behold, they have given birth to healthy full term babies less than nine months
after their weddings. We have told you children time and time again that we
will marry you even though you have copulated. BUT the bride will have to walk
down the aisle without covering her face with her veil.
Because when you lie and walk down the aisle
with your veil over you face in the house of God, in front of witnesses, how do
you expect God to bless your union? How can a union that has commenced with a
lie be blessed. Children be honest during your pre-marital counseling
sessions”
(Insert emoticon shaking head from left to right)
I totally understand the need for the
church to preserve morals amongst the youth. I understand it, respect it and
support it.
My problem is with the imposed punishment.
The bride gets to walk down the aisle on her special day without her veil.
Visitors to this church may not understand the meaning behind the missing veil
but everyone who understands the statutes of this church will know that it
means that the bride was deflowered prior to her wedding day.
But is she the only one walking down the aisle.
Why does the groom not have some form of evidence naming and shaming him on his
wedding day? Why isn’t the groom forced to leave his tie or shoes or something,
anything???
Honestly where is the justice in
embarrassing the bride ONLY when it is both of them who have conceived, called
together this gathering of witnesses, when it is both of them who are walking
down the aisle.
Society should be fair. I am asking for
equity . Mark and Mary should equally be
“punished” for the same “crime”.
Can anybody hear me!!!?????
LOUD AND CLEAR!!!! My main issue is that some of these things should not be aired in public.
ReplyDeleteWhy is virginity negetively skewed towards the woman? even traditionally, the whole white sheet and virginity tests... Why was there no form of checking whether the dude is a virgin or not? As a woman, my purity is all in vain if i save myself for someone who has been around. Why save yourself for someone who will probably compare you to Candice and Lola?
In all fairness the man should also symbolise his (or lack thereof) purity as well... its a union after all!
i am sure these women were thinking "everyone will be there, friends, family, colleagues. why would i want to have them judging me????
ReplyDeleteits lie, but its a lie i can defend. she is stuck in between a rock and a hard place.
you are going to talk about me at my wedding anyway, why should i give you more talking points.
Well said Tarie and very true indeed!! Society still treats women far much different and harshly as compared to men especially for the same "sin"! I mean those men that are not 'pure'rather that have deflowered more than one girl even impregnated one how are they named and shamed on their wedding days when they get married to a virgin.There is still a great deal of work to be done in the community and in our churches to fight against gender discrimination ! I'm routing for everyone should wear a veil if they feel like it .And isn't premarital counselling supposed to be something between the three of you? now man should persecute man and yet there is only one person to judge us God ....Maybe men shouldnt wear the suit blazers to the altar then wouldnt that be more shameful for the church and community how many of their male children are actually not pure and pretend to be in front of their parents
ReplyDeletecorrect me if i am wrong the pastor says, "BUT the bride will have to walk down the aisle 'without covering her face' with her veil". please note 'without covering her face'. it does not mention that she wont wear a veil at all as you have alluded to when you say "the bride gets to walk down the aisle on her special day without her veil"
ReplyDeleteHis message i think he was he was trying to convey is why lie in front of the lord? when you want him to bless your union and your life there after. which brings up my point, why do you care what your fellow 'worshipers', colleagues, parents and rest of society has to say if you did copulate? the only person whose opinion should matter is God. i believe that we as a society myself included worry too much about what other people will think especially in the church, which should not be the case. even some of the so called high and mighty people in the church have got skeletons in their closet and some even out there in public.
Don't get me wrong that i feel sorry for women as they are the ones whose dirty laundry is aired in the public eye. as Miss Fierce says why is virginity negatively skewed towards the woman? i wish as a man i could answer that but i do not think i can and give a proper genuine response to her. but here is a thought, what if all girls decide not to open their legs in the first place? would we be still having this discussion? wont the man still be a virgin too? i do realise that it may seem very simplistic and naive but that my thinking at the moment