Ronny the run away interview

A few months ago I introduced you to Ronny the Run away (follow the link if you haven’t met him). Today we get to meet a real life victim of Ronny, a strong beautiful Zimbabwean woman who had to pick herself up, dust herself off and move on with life for her own sake and the sake of her baby after Ronny ran.

As usual I have had to forgo revealing her identity in exchange for honesty. (Which by all means is a fair deal).

1.       How did you feel when you found out you were pregnant?

Answer: mixed feelings really, I was happy and scared at the same time.

2.       How did the baby daddy react when told him?

Answer: He didn’t say anything when I showed him the pregnancy test, later on he called and was happy, he even gave the baby a name.

3.       Tell me how Ronny Ran?

Answer: My aunts toke me  to Ronny's place (kutiziswa) and I had to stay with him as his wife. Ronny started coming home late everyday, weekends were worse he wouldnt even come back at home, he would switch off his phone and if you asked him about his whereabouts all hell broke loose. Ronny had 3 girlfriends (I discovered this from going through his phone). I  managed to confront just two of them. When I was almost due, he didnt give me money for maternity fees, baby clothes or even and rent. One weekend he disappeared again and never came back. That’s how Ronny ran...

4.       I will not judge you for your Answer because I appreciate  that you were going through a difficult time but did you ever consider abortion? If you did what changed your mind.

Answer: I did, more than once, even made appointment with the doctor. I didn’t go because I was scared that i might harm myself for life, because my pregnancy had some complications right from the beginning. And I still had hope that maybe things might change. I really prayed about everything.

5.       What hurt you the most about his actions? I know the entire process of being let down by someone you love at such a critical time will hurt but there has to be that one thought that kept going through your mind (that he had betrayed you? That your baby would grow up in a split home? The thought of the world knowing that your Ronny ran? The financial woes?) what really got to you?

Answer: honestly what you said above came as one big package all those questions really got to me, also the fact that I sacrificed a lot for him, stood by him when the whole world told me to abandon him and in the end he abandoned me and our baby.

6.       Do you still love him?

Answer: (sighs) yes, letting go aint that easy

7.       Would you take him back today?

Answer: A few months back my Answer would be yes. For my kid to grow up with both parents, to shut the mouths of people in my community and some relatives. So that ndingonzi ndakarorwawo (I can say even I am married). But now my Answer is No. He aint worth it, I would be in those marriages were i would cry everyday and would never be happy.

8.       Are you going to allow him to have a relationship with his baby?

Answer: over my dead body (laughs) and so far I'm proud to say all is going according to plan.

9.       What  would you say to another woman who finds herself in your position, carrying a baby whose father will not accept responsibility.

Answer: i would just offer the best advice I can, the decision is entirely up to her. I know there are people in worst situations than me, and telling them its an easy road being a single mother would be a lie, at the same time telling then to abort would be inhuman of me. I would tell them life as it is, looking at both sides, be neutral as ever and let them make their own choice.

10.   What is your advice to a parent confronted with a daughter whose Ronny has ran?

Answer :its not the end of the world, my Ronny ran away, but look at me and other single parents out there, honestly we are making it. its just a minor set back, but everything else will always work out. This is the time a daughter really needs a parents support

11.   (Finish off the sentence) On a good day I look at my child and think….

Answer: They are the best thing that has ever happened to me, cant wait for them to grow up, and ooh i want to be the coolest mother ever !!!”

12.   (Finish off the sentence) On a bad day I look at my child and think….

Answer: I am sorry I brought you into this "born out of wedlock" world.

13.   Will you date again??

Answer: of course. Hope to meet a guy who will love me and my little package ,I hope to have that white wedding I always dreamed about

14.   Anything else you would like to add…

Answer: Pray pray, pray. I know sometimes you might wonder why me, will i ever be happy again. It really hurts to have Ronny run away, the road isn’t easy, but through faith and patience God will bring you happiness you deserve,Everything happens for a reason, you might not know it now but later you will. My Ronnie was demoted at work, his landlord threw him out of the house(he is crashing at a relatives place right now), he is seen in the presence of many women(kune chirwere kunzeuko)- by this she was referring to HIV/AIDS and STIs and STDs. so if i had gone back to him, i would be crying, and probably be thinking of leaving him hey. So either way, he wasn’t and isn’t the one for me.